By Kristin Ferklic
Summer has officially arrived in the HC! Kids are on summer vacation, pools are open, and the heat is on! As responsible parents, neighbors, and community members let’s agree to some ground rules. Capisce?
Our many community pools are places of recreation and relaxation. They are also perhaps the site of the most egregious seasonal faux pas. Swimwear selection is critical. Errors in selection cause an untold number of visual assaults every year. As far as I’m concerned, body type, size and beauty can be checked at the door. But let’s be real, the truth is most folks don’t want to see certain bits, especially with their kids in tow.
Unfortunately, I must mention poolside PDA (Personal Displays of Affection). Disturbingly, every year, a select few, seemingly grown people, as well as hormonally challenged youth, need a refresher that the rest of us don’t enjoy the poolside romantic overtures. I know. Amazing, but true.
To the dear children now on summer vacation, let’s review,…what is an emergency? Unless someone is bleeding (profusely), or on fire, it’s not an emergency. Let’s clarify, shall we? Your sister turned off the X-box when you were on the precipice of the 14th level of hell. This is not a legitimate reason to call your mother at work with a 911 alert.
Ladies, it’s hot, and I know you’re trying to find something cute to wear. A word of caution, as we know women’s clothing is a minefield, and it’s worse in the warmer months. I think most of us can agree that shorts, by definition, should have an identifiable, measurable inseam. However, we all know this isn’t universally recognized by neither retailers nor consumers. And, don’t even think about that sundress with the “shelf bra.” This concept has not been your friend since you left the sixth grade.
Fireworks. If your neighbor loves them, you probably hate them. These days it seems like it’s a never-ending cacophony of blasts, bursts, and explosions. What was once an event, is now a lifestyle. Let’s all remember, some people appreciate the tranquility and some people get up crazy early. And if you anger the mothers of previously sleeping newborns with your riotous blasts, well, I hope you’re armed with more than firecrackers, because the gates of hades may unleash upon you. I may or may not have personal emotional ties to that last one.
Behave yourselves, and enjoy!
Stay awesome Hendricks County!